Poison I seek (for Orion)

You, people like you, are poison to me.
It is a torturous game you play with me and you don’t seem to see that it is killing me
how you make me yearn
and wish for your company,
hope for a future i know cannot exist.

I die every day because i cannot have what you so blindly seem to dwell in.
Is it wrong of me to feel this way?
is it wrong that while i struggle to breath,
that while i am drowning
the mere thought of oxygen sends a panic
and a urge through my bones that makes me call out for the mercy of death?

I hate you for it, for reminding me every time i see you that i will never be with you.
Even now while i am writing this i am hoping for you to read these lines some day
and to finally break me free from the breathtaking depths.
i hate you for it.