it settles heavily
the acceptance
of responibility
for everything
I am and was and will be
for this soul harboured
safely
inside these broken walls

scratch along the divots
maybe the cement is more giving
than life

picking away slowly
so very sedatedly
at each new fiber of skin
or thread of soul
and stretch of mentality
I feed willingly
the hollowed-out hunger
while dropping all these scales
where
mirrors, masks, and paint
years of mishandled disgrace
found birth right in

stumble in circles around the garden
you hid away from yourself
see the trees grow despite of the dark

I start gathering flowers
pluck away dead blossoms
or wait for petals to fall
gently gathering them
to attach them to this
crown of thorns
forsaking the life of martyrdom
for a life of my own

paint a smile on your reflection
touch the cold
blow the shadow a kiss

wretched, hurt, damned
by my own hand
the dagger
digging its hilt
against scarred palms
its traces
will serve as a reminder
silver lines in broken flesh
as a story

there are no chapters
for good and bad

the follow through
renders the anti-climatic
sensation of
implosions
instead of destruction
a thirst driven by love
not a hunger spurred
by self-escalation

breathe in breathe out
you can start to feel
now

 

KH