peace in my pain

We live with a hole in our soul
and there’s no chance of it ever
healing in this lifetime
maybe when we’re too old
we’ll forget it’s there

But for now I am bound to it
as much as i am bound to living

I wonder why i still cry
I wonder why my pain and i
haven’t found peace
Why we still push each other
why i still hope to push and to
feel it gone

i can’t change it
it is the curse of having a past
as well as the blessing
of having something
indestructible to human force
for once there is safety
for both i and misery

so i will have to
wrestle with myself
Wrestle til i fade or it
count tears til i count waterfalls
or til the numbers run out

peace is for the dead
and for those who do not condemn
feeling it
for those who see their past
as their only fate
for those who have wrestled their demons

until they broke with it

they are rebuilt as one
And so they exist in peace
because they can no longer live