Happy Hour

i think about you a lot
I’m reminded by cloudy Moonshine and the
neon of this dive’s bar sign of nights
i Had pined over you had counted
sheeps and cast mountain between us
whatever I could find
Just not to be reminded that
I won’t be kissing you tonight or any other
I suppose as you know when you
ran off to LA with whatever O.C. CEO had
dragged itself to you and you from me
to those diamond dreams you said
you dreamt of snow and backstage
VIP shows the Californian kind In any case
I decided to be deprived of the unenlightened
love you had to offer to anyone but I and
I myself had instead become a little bitter had gained
on tattoos and leather wear sat in a dive between
two girls – they’re cali-bi so they’ll stick around
for whomever will buy the next round
Burning liquor down my throat I’m reminded
that you’re partying with champagne on boats
and silver spoon sunsets Can’t believe
you made it I see your face on the telly above us
making my company swoon it’s hard choking
down the truth about you and Our hometown
our playground our sneaking and kissing and
hiding around – god. If you could see me now
With hair to my hips and cigs pinned behind my lips
another toxic habit i couldn’t shake off My fingers
start to shake at the remineder and shake harder
when i give in to the fight like i always do but
you chose the sanctity of me with diseased hearts
over a life
between flood stained sheets, mascara stained
cheeks and a love the size of an universe.